Overwhelming despair enveloped Mom.
She tried several times to end her life in different ways, but each time, Frederick stopped her at the last moment.
When he caught her again from doing something rash, she broke down and slammed her head hard against his chest. “Don’t stop me! Let me die with this mistake inside me!”
Frederick staggered back from the pain, his own eyes reddening.
Holding her tightly, as though making a choice that had torn at him for a long time, he said, “Margaret, don’t do any- thing foolish. Don’t be afraid. No matter what, no matter when, I love you. You’ll always be my wife.
“We can abort this child. I’ve already booked an appointment with a specialist for the modified electroconvulsive therapy. Forget everything, and we’ll still be the most loving couple. I’ve always loved you, and you’ll forever be my wife.”
For a moment, Mom wavered, but she kept beating his chest. “No! I don’t deserve you. I’m filthy now. Don’t care about me. Just let me rot away.”
Her eyes filled with self–hatred as she shook her head wildly. “No, I can’t… I don’t deserve you anymore. I’m dir want a divorce.”
But Frederick refused to let go no matter what she said.
Timothy cried hard, falling to his knees and clutching Mom’s legs. “Mom, please don’t. Don’t abandon me and Dad. Dad and I love you. Please don’t leave him. Don’t leave us.”
Mom’s body shook violently, her face torn between despair and conflict.
Finally, with Frederick and Timothy’s support and encouragement, she agreed to go to the hospital and step onto the table for an abortion.
As long as she got rid of me, all the pain would end.
However, something happened during the abortion.
The doctor explained Mom’s uterine wall was too thin. Back when she gave birth to Timothy, her body had already been damaged.
If they forced the abortion, it would cost both her life and mine.
When she collapsed again in despair, Frederick’s tear–filled eyes hardened with resolve as he embraced her trembling body. “Margaret, then give birth to the child. You’re my wife, and the child in your belly will be my child too.”
Feeling her silent tears, my spirit trembled in the air.
0.0 %
12:03
Chapter 9
# 288 (Vouchers
From the very moment I existed, I had already brought her this much pain.
All throughout her pregnancy, Mom had severe morning sickness. She had to be put on oxygen three times and ad- mitted to the ICU five times.
The doctors warned that her mental stress was harming the baby.
No matter how Frederick and Timothy tried to comfort and care for her, her health grew worse, like a flower on the verge of withering.
On the day she went into labor, Mom suffered amniotic fluid embolism as soon as I was born.
They managed to rescue her in time, saving her life.
When I was born, I was rosy and chubby, with wide round eyes. I inherited all the good looks from my mom.
Because I hadn’t inherited any of that devil’s looks, Mom and Frederick accepted me much faster than expected.
She said it had snowed heavily that day, and so she named me Noelle.
From the time I was born until the moment I first babbled the word “Mom.”
She truly did seem to forget the past, and I was just her daughter in those moments.
But the older I grew, the more her expression grew darker, until on my tenth birthday, she completely lost control and attacked me.
Frederick called in a psychiatrist for her.
The diagnosis was clear: Mom’s emotions were devastatingly unstable. She suffered from post–traumatic stress disor der, and if it worsened, it would develop into schizophrenia.
It turned out that Mom was forced to give birth to me.
As a child, I didn’t know anything. When I saw Timothy call Frederick “Dad,” I assumed Frederick was my dad too.
Every time I called Frederick my dad, both he and Mom looked unhappy, and Timothy would smack my hand hard.
For as long as I could remember, Timothy had disliked me.
He always pointed at me, calling me a little monster, saying I was the daughter of a criminal, that I didn’t deserve to live in this world.
I was very young at that time. I didn’t understand what little monster meant, nor did I know what a rapist was. I didn’t understand why as I grew up, Mom always cried and Frederick always looked at me and sighed silently,
It wasn’t until I started school that my teacher gave us a lesson about the law.
Only then did I truly understand the meaning of rapist.
He hurt my mom, and other women who were innocent like her.
49.0 %
12:03
Chapter 10
Chapter 10
11
