07
I thought Caleb and I had time. But still, I found myself rushing to finish the sachet, wanting to give it to him in person.
I didn’t know if he’d like the smell of lavender, so I bought some other dried flowers just in case. I made three small pouches for
him: one shaped like a traditional good luck charm, one with a red embroidered lion, and one with a blue dragon.
I strung them together on a single cord. Holding them up in the sunlight, I wondered what his reaction would be.
I got off the bus and practically ran to his apartment complex.
But when I got there, there were movers carrying furniture out of his unit.
I froze, my heart sinking into my shoes.
I walked slowly toward a woman directing the movers from the sidewalk. “Excuse me,” I said softly. “Do you know what happened
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to the person who lived here?”
“Oh, him? He moved out. I think he left a few days ago.”
“Oh. Okay.“,
I nodded numbly and turned away.
I found a bench and sat there for a long time, trying to process the fact that Caleb was gone.
Why would he leave without saying a word? Weren’t we… friends?
My vision blurred. The gift bag in my hand suddenly felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.
Why is it that as soon as I start getting used to someone, they leave? Just like everyone else.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, my expression hardening. I stood up, dropped the gift bag into a nearby trash can, and walked away.
That night, a storm rolled in. I stared out the window at the rain, Caleb’s contact open on my phone. My thumb hovered over the call button, but I couldn’t bring myself to press it.
What would I even say? Why did you leave without telling me?
Maybe, to him, I was just a temporary challenge. A girl he pursued for a little while. Not someone worth saying goodbye to.
I felt like a complete fool. How many times could I fall for the same trick before I learned my lesson?
A sharp knock on the door startled me.
I opened it, and there he was. Jackson King, soaked to the bone, looking like a wreck. He stared at me, his face a mask of misery. “Did you forget?” he asked, his voice raw. “Did you forget it was my birthday?”
If this had been the old Aubrey, would she have forgiven him? I don’t know.
All I knew was that the Aubrey standing there now felt nothing. I looked at the boy I had loved for most of my life, and I felt a profo- und, desolate emptiness. No love. No hate. Just nothing.
His eyes were red–rimmed. “Aubrey, it’s my birthday. You promised you’d always be there for my birthday.”
I was so tired. “Happy birthday,” I said. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“I’m sorry, Aubrey. Are you still angry with me?” He suddenly grabbed my hand and slapped it across his own face, hard.
I winced. The force of it sent a stinging vibration up my arm.
He tried to do it again, to hit his other cheek with my hand, but I wrenched it away, my voice cold. “If you’re going to have a meltdo-
wn, go home. Don’t do it on my doorstep.”
A dark red handprint was already blooming on his pale skin.
I didn’t care if it hurt him. I only cared that it might bring me more trouble.
His mouth opened and closed. Rain dripped from his hair. “Aubrey, I was wrong,” he choked out. “I… I don’t even know why I acted ⚫ like that. By the time i wanted to fix it, you were already gone. I went to Westwood to find you, but I saw you talking to that guy by
the window, and I got so angry. The things I said that day… I didn’t mean them…”
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I sighed, a wave of exhaustion washing over me.
Jax stared at me, his face pale and stricken.
I let out a bitter little laugh. “The post on the Confessions page. With your family’s resources, you could have found out who wrote it
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in an hour if you’d wanted to.”
At my words, a look of anguish crossed his face, and he lowered his head.
“You and I grew up together, Jax. You know my personality. You know I would never do something that low.”
“You didn’t not believe me, Jax. You chose to believe it was me.”
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“Chloe wanted everyone to know she was your girlfriend. She wanted to draw a line in the sand between us, to prove that she, the new girl, was more important than me, the girl you’d known your whole life. And you let her. You went along with her lies and her
games.”
I looked at his pained expression without a flicker of sympathy. “You made your choice a long time ago. What are you doing here
now?”
“Aubrey, I’m sorry,” he pleaded, reaching for me. I stepped back. “I was wrong, I was so wrong. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“It wasn’t until you were gone that I realized… I can’t live without you. I miss you so much. Every single day, I thought about you. I
went to your school, I waited outside, but I could never find you. I could never see you, Aubrey.”
Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the rain. He kept apologizing, over and over.
I looked down, closing my eyes. The boy who had walked me through so much of my childhood had finally, irrevocably, become
someone I despised.
The old Jax would never have treated me like this.
The boy who used to hold his jacket over my head in the rain, puffing out his chest and saying, “Don’t worry, Aubrey, I’m here,” was
gone. Lost to time.
“Jax!” A tearful cry came from the street. It was Chloe. He didn’t even turn his head.
She ran closer, her voice pleading. “Aubrey, he’s all I have. Please, don’t take him from me. I’m begging you.”
She was a dancer, always dieting. Her face was pale and delicate, the kind that looked especially pitiful when she cried.
“Shut up,” Jax roared at her. “I told you, we’re done. Get lost.”
“What did I do wrong? Just tell me! I love you so much, I don’t want to break up…”
I had no interest in watching their drama unfold. I quietly shut the door.
