Chapter 113
I gulp, trying to swallow the emotions building in my chest from the kindness in his eyes. The softness in his voice. How fucking similar he is to Julie. I’m not sure what Mr and Mrs. Calloway put in that half–done porridge to raise eight kids this kind and thoughtful, but whatever it is, they got it right.
Then I remember I’ll never get the chance to do the same.
My chest tightens. I look down, blinking hard and blaming the blur in my vision on the leftover alcohol in my system, not what‘ s twisting itself through my ribcage.
“Okay,” I manage.
I should’ve said no. Should’ve gone back to my room and cried in private, where nobody could see how broken I actually feel. Should’ve kept my distance and reminded myself that people like me don’t get the kind of life I wanted. Not love. Not a family. Not any of it.
But I followed him instead.
And ended up crying about how the person I loved the most had stuck a knife through my heart.
LACEY
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Liam heading toward Emilia, but my focus doesn’t budge.
Céline.
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She stands there like she’s the one who’s been wronged–wide- eyed, trembling, like she just stumbled onto a stage she didn’t know she was standing on.
I wonder how many nights actresses like Jessica Monroe have spent in front of the mirror, trying to perfect that exact look. The helplessness. The carefully measured innocence. Céline wears it effortlessly, like it’s second nature.
Maybe it always was.
Maybe the entire friendship was just another performance.
No. No, I can’t-
I can’t believe that.
Because if I do, it means none of it was real. Not the late nights,
not the laughter, not the way she used to cry in my arms and say I was the only person who ever stayed. It means I made it all up. Like some desperate idiot chasing love in a house full of mirrors.
“Tell me it’s not true, Céline,” I say, but it’s not really me
speaking. It’s some broken part of me trying to crawl out. The part that still thinks she’ll shake her head, fall to her knees, and say she was scared and sorry.
But she doesn’t.
And all I can see is her standing there. Looking at me like I’m nothing. Like I’ve always been nothing.
This is the girl I let sleep in my bed when she had nowhere else to go. The girl I defended when no one else would. The girl I
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made a hundred excuses for because I thought – God, I really thought she just needed someone to believe in her.
—
Was I blind?
Or did I just want so badly to be loved that I ignored everything?
She took everything. Piece by piece. My trust. My peace. My family. My life. And I let her.
My chest caves. My knees almost give. I can’t breathe through the sobs tearing out of me. I can’t see her clearly, but I try. God, I try. Even now. Even after everything. Just, like I always did. Just like I always do.
“Tell me you didn’t mean it,” I beg. “Tell me you were angry or scared or joking and I’ll forget it. I’ll forgive it. Just say it.”
1 don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t.
“Lace—” Emilia tries, but her voice is barely there.
“Don’t.” Liam, maybe. I’m not sure.
I don’t care.
I don’t care because none of it makes sense and all of it hurts
and I feel like I’m falling and there’s no bottom.
I gave her everything.
And she used it to destroy me.
Her mouth opens,
For a second, just a second, there’s a flicker–like maybe she
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will say sorry. Maybe she’ll drop to her knees and cry and beg and I’ll forgive her. Maybe I’ll get her back.
But instead… she smiles.
Not the sweet, sleepy smile I once knew. This one is twisted. Wild. A little too wide. A little too proud.
“I meant every word.”
My world cracks open.
“You always thought you were better than me,” Céline says, stepping closer, her heels clicking against the polished floor. “Perfect little Lacey with her soft voice and soft heart. God, it was disgusting. The way people loved you. The way you made me feel like trash without even trying.”
She laughs, but it’s hollow – ugly. “You really don’t get it, do you? You took up so much space. All the space. There was never room for anyone else. Not really. I was just orbiting you, hoping to catch the scraps.”
I feel the heat rising in my face. My vision blurs with tears I refuse to let fall.
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