Chapter 137
“My therapist told me to stop holding you accountable for my delusions,” she cuts in. “She’s great, by the way. Thanks for recommending her. She’s got a real talent for kicking my emotional teeth in.”
―
–
A pause. Then, softer: “After everything blew up – with the cheating rumours and me heading off to film in Mexico – I never saw him again. I honestly thought you’d… handled it somehow. Or that maybe he lost interest. But I never knew for sure.”
I drag a hand through my hair. Emilia laughs at something Oldie says, and it pulls my eyes back to her. Her face lights up. So does something in my chest. “I found him,” I say. “He’s in custody now.”
Silence.
Then a sharp inhale, like she’s been holding her breath without realising. “You’re serious?”
“He followed Emilia. Tried to get to her in the bathroom. He had a knife, too.” My throat tightens. “He thinks she ruined your life. That I should’ve stayed with you. He tried to hurt her because he thought I hurt you.”
Another silence. Then I hear it her sniffling quietly on the other end.
“He really… he’s really going to jail?” she whispers.
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“Yeah,” I say. “And I’m sorry. For not taking him more seriously back then. For not protecting you the way I could’ve. I can’t imagine what it felt like being scared to look out your window at night, scared to call the cops in case it made him worse. I should’ve done more,”
She lets out a soft, broken sound. “You did what you could. And now he’s gone. Thank you.”
I close my eyes. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I know,” she says. “But I needed to hear that.”
–
I glance at Emilia again. Her eyes meet mine, steady, warm, unwavering.
And suddenly I’m certain of two things:
I couldn’t protect Jessica back then.
But I’ll be damned if I let anyone hurt Emilia.
Not again.
Which is why, as much as it twists something raw inside me, I say it.
“This should be the end, Jess.”
A pause. Then, panicked- “What? W–what are you talking about?”
“You’re doing better now. You’ve got your footing. You don’t need to backslide into the way things were. You don’t need me anymore, I think it’s time we finally let go for good.”
–
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There’s silence on her end, the kind that tightens my chest. Then: “You’re really doing this over the phone?” Her voice breaks. “Liam, please – just tell me what I did. I’ll apologise, I’ll fix it. Don’t do this. Don’t throw me away.”
“Did you tell Mar that I’m Rowland’s father?” My voice is colder than I mean for it to be, but I can’t afford softness right now. “Because there’s no way Oldie found out on his own.”
She goes quiet. That tells me everything.
My jaw tightens. “Why would you do that, Jessica?”
“I- I’m sorry, okay?” Her voice cracks under the weight of it. “It isn’t new–I told him years ago, back before I started getting help. I was spiralling, and I needed someone to talk to. You know how I was back then, Liam. I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I swear-”
I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “It doesn’t matter.” Maybe it never did. “You told me once you don’t need saving anymore and you were right. But the truth is… that’s all we ever were. Me trying to fix you. You needing someone to
—
cling onto. And when you stopped needing that…”
I trail off, breath catching.
“You didn’t know what to be anymore.”
There’s a long pause. Then, softly: “So that’s it?”
“No,” I say. “There’s one more thing.”
I swallow. “I want my best friend back.”
She doesn’t speak, but I press on. “I shouldn’t have had to give
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him up just because I cared about you. That was never fair. To me, or to him. Or to you, if I’m being honest. All we’ve done is make each other smaller, and I’m tired of shrinking to fit a version of us that doesn’t exist anymore.”
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She lets out a quiet sob – muffled, like she’s covering her mouth to stop it from spilling out.
“I love you, Jess,” I say softly. And it’s the truth. Maybe not the kind of love she’s always wanted from me, but something real all the same.
“I love yo-”
“I know,” I cut in, gently. “But I’ll never be able to love you the way you need me to. And I’m so damn tired of carrying that guilt
—
– like I owe you a kind of love I just don’t have to give.” To you.
I take a breath, steadying my voice.
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