“I can’t give up.” I say, shaking my head even though – deep down already have. But some things, you lie to yourself about just to stay upright. “If I do, that’s like giving up on the one thing I’ve always wanted. I want to be a mum. The normal way.”
“Even if the normal way isn’t possible?”
I glance at her. “Since when did you become the pessimist in this friendship? That’s my job.”
–
She licks cheesy powder off her fingers, totally unfazed. “Someone’s gotta use the brain cells you clearly left behind today. Be grateful.”
She pauses. Her voice softens just a little. “Look, I don’t think there’s any unnatural way to become a mum. Have you thought about adoption? You’d be saving a kid from the system. Racking up good karma points. Win–win.”
I blink, surprised. I haven’t actually thought about it. Not once. My therapist – who charges enough to feed a small village – hasn’t even brought it up. Has she? Maybe she thought I wouldn’t be open to it.
To be fair, she would’ve been right.
I
Still, I frown. Should I fire her for being lazy or just for being correct?
“I want my own kids, Julie,” I say after a long moment.
“How about I have babies and give them to you? Would that make you happy?”
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I shoot her a look. “Don’t even joke about that. And get your foot off my dashboard.”
“Touchy,” she mutters, dragging her leg down. “But seriously, just think about it. I know moving on is hard for you, but you can’t keep living in waiting rooms. If one thing doesn’t work out, try the next. That’s how life goes.”
–
I glance over at her – all sunshine and zero filter. Julie Calloway isn’t just resilient, she’s relentless. Nothing sticks to her for long. No heartbreak, no loss. She keeps going. She always has.
Sometimes I wish I had even a fraction of that in me.
Maybe then, it wouldn’t be so hard to breathe.
I tighten my grip on the wheel. “You know it’s not that easy for me.”
The light dims in her eyes, just a bit. “Yeah,” she says. “I know.”
EMILIA
I don’t know how long I stand there, staring at the spot Diana just left.
Everything feels unreal – like the air’s been punched out of the room and hasn’t returned. I clench my fists, willing myself to move, and head for Tessa’s room.
I try not to think about what Diana said. Try not to picture her face. Try not to feel anything at all.
When I reach the door, I notice the lock–turned from the outside. The key’s still in the handle. All I have to do is twist it.
I open the door.
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Tessa’s on the floor, legs crossed, laptop balanced on her knees, Reading glasses perched on her nose. She squints at me.
“You’re dressed up,” she says, dryly. “So I’m guessing the surprise went well? I’m also guessing you got rid of the psychopath? I would’ve called you, but she took my phone like I was being punished.”
I don’t answer. Just move to the ground beside her, awkward in my dress. I smooth it out and lean over to peek at her screen.
“Are you working?”
“Was.” She lets out a small sigh and closes the report she was drafting, switching tabs. “I figured I’d get ahead with all the alone time. But since you’re here-” she holds out her hand. “Phone?”
I hand it over. She checks it quickly, her expression flickering – something disappointed flashes across her face, but she buries it just as fast. Then, without missing a beat, she turns the laptop toward me.
“I was thinking,” she says, her voice quieter now. “We should probably start baby–proofing the apartment.”
The words catch me off guard. For a second, I just blink at her.
“You’re… keeping the baby?”
She doesn’t respond right away. Instead, she scrolls through a page full of pastel baby clothes, teething rings, and miniature furniture. Then, finally, her voice breaks the silence.
“You got rid of Diana, right?”
“I did.”
“Did you knock some sense into her while you were at it?” She leans
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back slightly, eyes still on the screen. “Girl’s not all there, you know.”
My lips twitch. I try to suppress it, but the laugh escapes anyway, Loud. Sudden. Real.
Tessa glances over and then bursts out laughing too. “Right? She’s completely unhinged.”
“Like–what was her plan? Buy furniture for someone else’s apartment and then just leave?”
“And it wasn’t even good furniture!” Tessa wheezes, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. “Did you see the leopard–print rug? I thought my eyes were bleeding.”
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