Chapter 111
GRAYSON
“Another hour?” I murmur. “Or are we doing the full twenty four again, sweetheart?”
I don’t think I can do this for another twenty hours again.
Pierce is gone. Vanished without a sound, without a scent, without the decency to bleed first. If he’s smart, he won’t come back. If he’s back through that treeline and say something sideways about how this is my fault–and I’ll gut him like a pig in front of the grade and Awe the
blink.
I don’t know what his fucking problem is. Is the pack more important than his sister? But who am I to judge, right? It’s not like I made good
I’ve failed her more times than I can count. Let her burn alone. Let her bleed out. Let her beg. And I still had the fucking audacity to force
“I should follow Pierce,” Theo said, breathing too loud. I want to cut his throat just to shut him up.
I turn my head slow. Real slow. My jaw clicks. “The fuck did you just say?”
Theo backs a step, but not far enough. “I just–I meant maybe Pierce had a point. We should do something about the pack-“.
“Say that again,” I snarl, stepping toward him. “Say it again. Say Pierce had a point and I swear to every god in this cursed bloodline, I will mount your fucking spine on the door.”
“She’s not waking up, man-”
My hand’s around his throat before the last word even leaves his mouth. I slam him into the wall so hard the frame rattles.
“She’s not gone,” I grit out, fangs bared, claws digging into his skin. “You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to fucking speak about her like she’s already dead.”
He chokes on air, eyes wide. “Damn. How far did you go off–reservation, Alpha?” he rasps. “I didn’t say she’s dying. You have to get your head-”
I slam him into the wall again. Harder.
“Say one more fucking word,” I snarl, voice low and shaking. “Go ahead. Finish that sentence. See what happens.”
“You keep spiraling like this, you’re gonna lose more than her.”
My grip tightens, claws breaking skin, blood welling at his throat. He winces but keeps going.
“You think this is strength?” he spits. “This isn’t you protecting her. This is you giving up with your claws out.”
I growl–deep, low, vibrating out of my chest.
“Look around,” he pants. “Your wolves are scared shitless. Half of them think you’ve snapped. The other half are waiting to see if they’ll have to put you down.”
“I’ll kill them first.”
“Exactly.”
I freeze.
He leans forward, voice raw, eyes locked on mine.
“You’ll kill your own, Destroy the pack she bled for. Burn the whole thing down, and for what? For grief? For guilt?”
1/3
Chapter 111
My hands shake
“She’s not even dead,” I snarl
“No,” he says “But if she wakes up and finds ash and bodies and no one left standing–you think that’s what she’d want?”
My breath hitches.
“She wouldn’t fucking want this,” Theo says, quieter now, blood in his teeth. “Not you like this. Not the pack breaking from the Then get your head straight. Alpha the fuck up. Because if you don’t-”
He swallows hard.
“You’ll lose her either way.”
For the first time ever, Theo is fucking right. Jess wouldn’t want this.
She wouldn’t want the pack scared of me. Wouldn’t want my hands stained with our own. Wouldn’t want to wake up to blood in the to fight beside.
She’d call me a brute. A bastard. An idiot.
And she’d be right.
“Come on, Grayson,” Theo mutters behind me, voice still hoarse, neck bruised. “Do you really think Riot is just there being xona
I don’t look at him. Just keep watching her. One more twitch. That’s all I need. One more sign she’s still clawing her way back
“I think,” I say slowly, “Riot would rather rip out his own throat than wear a crown.”
Theo scoffs. “He’s already got the crown. You just handed it to him on a bloodied platter and walked away.”
I snap my head toward him. “I didn’t walk away.”
“No?” He raises his chin, still wincing from where I hit him. “What do you call locking yourself in this room while the rest of the pack turns feral from the inside out?”
“I call it not giving a fuck about anything that isn’t her.”
He can say whatever he wants. Riot can play king. The Council can rot.
If she doesn’t wake up, none of it fucking matters.
Theo moves to the corner of the room, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Riot’s not leading. He’s controlling. There’s a difference, he’s keeping -the pack in line with fear, not loyalty.”
I snort. “Sounds like the same way I handled it.”
“No.” He looks up. “You ruled like you had something to protect. Riot rules like he’s got nothing left to lose.”
“Then what do you want me to do?” I snap, the words tearing out of my throat. “Risk going there and challenge?
Silence.
He watches me. And for the longest time, I let him.
My hands fall to my sides.
Heavy. Shaking.
2/3
06:32 Sun, 31 Aug
Chapter 111
“I’ve got nothing left,” I say. Quiet. Bitter. “You think I can walk in there and rip a crown off Riot’s head when i can’t even keep her thing
Theo doesn’t answer.
“I can’t shift right. Can’t think. Can’t sleep. Every second I spend in this room I lose more of myself, and no one gives a fuck because the orfy ever looked at me like I was more than what I was born to be–is dying.”
All my life I’ve been sheltered. I had warriors around me. My father–even when he was cruel, he still had my back. I’m afraid. I’m fucking afraid, is pushing me to lead but no one asks me if I was okay. Everyone wants me to be an Alpha–but no one asks if that’s still what I want.
I mourned my father while fighting my way out of Aria. She told me about him being killed. The old man is evil, yes, but he’s the only famil stripped me of everything. Aria stripped me of my fucking dignity when she tried to make me knot inside her.
For so long, I’ve been so strong. I’ve been so obedient. I’ve been so loyal. I’ve been everything my father and the pack wants me to be.
Except this time, all I wanted is to be with her.
Fuck everything.
All I want is to be with Jess.
“G–Gray…son.”
My heart fucking stops. And there she is. The love of my life. The woman the Moon Goddess gave me. The only good thing I’ve ever touched and didn’t ruin completely- Staring at me. Eyes cracked open, hazy, half–fucked from the coma, but hers. Those eyes. The ones that made me sink harder every time they looked at me like I was worth something.
I forget how to breathe.
“Jess,” I choke out, quickly reaching for her. “Jess!”
Her eyes flutter again and that’s all it takes. Everything in me just–breaks. She’s alive. I press my forehead against her temple and the tears come hard and fast–violent, ugly, uncontrollable.
I can’t stop shaking. I can’t stop the way my breath hitches like I’ve been stabbed in the fucking chest.
“I thought I lost you,” I whisper, voice splintered. “Fuck, Jess–I thought I lost you.”
I don’t even know if she can hear me. Doesn’t matter. I’m saying it anyway. Every word I didn’t get to say.
“You’re not allowed to do that to me. Do you hear me?” My voice cracks again. I’m sobbing now. Fully. No shame. No holding back. “You’re not fucking allowed to leave me.”
AD
cament
