Chapter 151
Chapter 151
JESSICA
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I’ve clawed my way through hell in this lifetime. Fought, bled, and bitten down on the pain until it stopped screaming. But here’s the thing–none of it was a mistake. Not one damn second.
So, Grayson is wrong.
Definitely wrong.
And I’ll be damned if I let anyone–Grayson, Riot, or that idiot Pierce–drag me down.
There’s a time when I’m in Theo’s bed that I don’t want to sleep or want to just sleep forever.
I woke like I’d been dragged under, lungs ripping for air that wasn’t there, and for a heartbeat I thought I was drowning again, until the dark folded back and the stink of canvas and damp moss told me I wasn’t in water but in a tent, small, thin–walled, too thin, nothing between me and what I felt moving just outside.
Who’s that?
My throat seized against it, but my wolf forced the inhale anyway, greedy, filthy, dragging the scent deeper until it scraped raw through my chest.
Grayson.
I hated how fast my heart beat just from his voice. I didn’t need to invite him. He was already inside. My wolf recognized him faster than my head did, surging up, ears pricked, body hot, tail twitching in memory of his weight.
“No. What do you want Grayson?”
He didn’t answer with words. Instead, he moved, lying down beside me like it was the most natural thing in the world. His arm slipped around my waist, pulling me back against him. I wanted to resist, but my body betrayed me, sinking into his warmth. “Don’t,” I whispered, but it was weak.
“Can I?” he murmured, his lips brushing my shoulder. “Please?”
I tried to shift away, but his grip was iron. My wolf stirred, restless, torn between the urge to escape and the undeniable pull of his scent. “Grayson, stop-”
“No,” he cut me off, his voice feral, animalistic. “You’re going to listen to me. You’re going to feel me.” His lips brushed the curve of my neck, and I shivered, my body betraying me again.
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Chapter 151
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“I’m begging you,” he whispered, his breath hot against my skin. “Choose me.”
My heart pounded, the sound deafening in my cars. Is he for real?
“Might as well beg.”
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His lips trailed up the side of my neck, heat and sharp teeth grazing my skin. My breath hitched, and my fingers dug into his arm. “Grayson-”
“Choose me,” he said again, his voice breaking this time. “Please. I’ll follow you anywhere. I’ll fight anyone. But I can’t-” He stopped, his chest heaving against my back. “I can’t lose you.”
I turned in his arms, my hands finding his chest, feeling the wild rhythm of his heart. His eyes were dark, feral, locked on mine like I was the only thing that mattered. “You’re right, Grayson. I’m confused.”
The way his eyes went darker makes me want to laugh.
“You’re confused?”
I leaned closer, my lips almost touching his. ” Uh–uh.”
His
eyes narrowed, and for a moment, I thought he might pull away. “Do you…like Riot?”
“I do.”
He let out a frustrated growl, his hands pulling away. Oh, moon goddess. What did you do with my feral alpha?
It looks like I’m not just the only one who has changed.
Grayson changed too.
I realized it when I first saw him.
He could’ve killed Riot on the spot. My Grayson would burn the world for me.
“What happened to you?”
His jaw tightened, his gaze dropping to my lips like he was fighting the urge to kiss me. “I thought I’ve lost you, do you know how that feels?”
My chest ached. “I like Riot.”
His jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. “You like him,” he repeated, his voice low and dangerous. “Do you like him enough to forget me? To forget us?”
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Chapter 151
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I swallowed hard, my chest aching. “I don’t know,” I said honestly.
“You don’t know.”
“I don’t.” I shook my head, my hands moving to his face, cupping his cheeks. “I don’t know why my wolf is reacting to him,” I said honestly. “But I do know that no matter what happens, you’ll always be a part of me.”
My mom said mates could only be one person–your fated match, the one your wolf recognizes as its other half. But Grayson wasn’t my mate. He was… something else. Something real.
Something that I’ll remember in this lifetime and probably forever. If that exists.
Grayson’s eyes softened, but there was a flicker of pain in them. “You don’t have to explain it to me,” he said quietly. “I get it, Jess. So you’re…choosing Riot?”
I didn’t even know what I was choosing.
All I knew was that the pull toward Riot was primal, feral, like my wolf recognized something in him that I couldn’t–or wouldn’t–understand. But Grayson… Grayson was my lifeline. My reality.
“I’m not choosing anyone,” I said, my voice desperate. “I’m just… I’m just trying to survive this. My wolf, it’s like it’s possessed. And I don’t know how to make it stop.”
Grayson’s hands tightened on my arms, his grip almost painful. “Then let me help you,” he growled. “Let me fight for you. For us.”
I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. But the wolf inside me was louder, stronger, and it was screaming for Riot. And I didn’t know if I could ignore it.
“You’ve done enough for me,” I whispered, my heart sinking as the words left
my mouth.
He stepped back, his face twisting with hurt. “This feels like a breakup,” he snapped, his voice rising.
“It’s not!” I cried, my voice shaking. “Sorry…I’m not breaking up with you, okay?”
“Jess–”
“I love you. I do. Fuck. I really do.”
Grayson buries his head in my shoulder and it’s everything. If I can undo everything, I’ll choose and easy life with life like this. Spending my nights talking about how much I love
him.
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But life has never been easy. Especially for me.
“Then why does it feel like it, Jess?”
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I bit my lip, my mind racing. How could I explain something I barely understood myself?
“I want you to know how much I love you and how much I’m going to trust you on this.”
He pulled back, his eyes narrowing. “Trust me on what? What are you talking about?”
“There’s something I need to do. Something…big. And I can’t tell you yet, but I need you to
trust me.”
Grayson’s jaw tightened, his hands clenching at his sides. “Jess, no. You know what happened when you did something like this. Fuck. I’ll tie you up, baby. Don’t you fucking dare.”
I reached for him, my hand trembling. “Grayson, please. This is different. I *have* to do this.”
He caught my wrist, his grip firm but not painful. His chest rose and fell with each heavy breath, like he was fighting to hold himself together. “Different? You don’t get it, do you? Every time you say that, it’s *never* different. You come back hurt, or worse, and I-” He broke off, his voice cracking. His eyes flickered with something raw, something I couldn’t quite place. Fear? Anger? Both?
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. “I’m going to be careful. I promise.”
He let out a bitter laugh, his hand dropping from my wrist. “Careful? You’re not careful, Jess. You’re reckless. And I can’t-” He turned away, his shoulders rigid. “I can’t watch you destroy yourself again.”
I won’t destroy myself this time, Grayson. I wanted to tell him that but I didn’t. Because promising that is way out of our league now.
I don’t want to promise him something. I want to savor every minute loving him.
His eyes softened, and he leaned down, his lips brushing against mine. “You’re killing me, you know that?”
I kissed him, my hands sliding up his chest. “Don’t die. Pierce will be alone.”
He pulled me down onto the bed, our bodies pressed together. “I trust you,” he murmured against my lips. “But I’m scared. I can’t lose you, Jess.”
I kissed him again, slow and deep. “You won’t lose me. I’m right here.”
His hand slid under my shirt, his touch warm against my skin. “I want your pup inside me,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
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He froze, his eyes meeting mine. “Jess,” he said, his voice rough. “Are you serious?”
I nodded, my heart pounding. “I want everything with you. But I need to know that you’re with me, no matter what.”
He kissed me again, his hands trembling. “I’m with you, Jess. Always.”
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