Chapter 181
JESSICA
“Have you been practicing?”
I curl my fingers into the collar of my shirt, tugging it up just enough to hide the crescent bruises Grayson left last night. Heat claws up my neck, prickling at every pulse, and I can feel Kade’s eyes on me.
“Mind your own business, Kade.”
Kade’s hand lands on the table with a soft thud, and I catch the faint shift in his gaze sliding toward the marks at the base of my throat. I stiffen, tugging the collar a fraction higher, letting my hair fall just enough to obscure the bruises. Every instinct in me screams to hide, yet a part of me burns with the challenge–the defiance I can’t seem to suppress.
After Grayson and I had our talk last night, he’s sure as hell punished me from slapping him. I’m glad I can barely walk for tonight’s ceremony.
Grayson snorts, low, amused, but there’s an edge to it, a warning tangled in his voice. “Brat,” he mutters. “Don’t piss Kade. He’s the one making sure tonight will be perfect.”
“Oh, I’m sure he won’t mess up,” I hiss… Beneath the smirk, beneath the snarl, my stomach tightens. Coil after coil of anticipation, dread, and something I refuse to name twists deep inside me. Years with Grayson have taught me this is the right path for us, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Kade leans back, his arms crossed, eyes glinting. “Tonight, he wants the marking done right. No hesitation. You’re his… you understand what that means.”
I do understand. Too well.
“Yeah,” I murmur, barely loud enough for him. My stomach tightens again, harder this time, heat pooling low. “I know what
it means.”
Staring at the collar, Kade licks his lips and shakes his head. “Someone looks nervous.”
His tone should annoy me, and part of me wants to snap, but the truth curls around my ribs like a vice: I am. Fucking nervous. I am not supposed to feel this way. I am supposed to feel confident about finally having Grayson as my official mate–but I don’t. All I feel is this stupid, looping thought about messing it all up, about flinching, stumbling, betraying the bond before it’s even sealed.
I am not fragile. I am fierce. I am fired. And yet my stomach betrays me, twisting, fluttering, sinking, as if already bowing to what tonight will do to me.
Kade leans back, smirk playing on his lips. “You know, you could just admit it. Nervous. It’s okay. Makes it easier for him to… claim you.”
Claim me.
Is that it? Is that why I’m having second thoughts about this? Because I don’t want to be claimed?
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17:47 Mon, 15 Sept.
Chapter 181
“I’m not nervous,” I spit, voice sharp, brittle. Lies, lies, lies.
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“There’s my girl,” Grayson murmurs, stepping closer, low and amused, and pats my head before leaning in for a slurpy kiss -right in front of Kade..
Rage, embarrassment, arousal, and panic all collide. I shove back against him reflexively, chest flush, jaw tight. “Don’t-“I hiss, trying to pull free, but my hands tremble. “Sorry. I should go.” I push myself out of the chair. “I… I’m meeting Jack today. Did I tell you?”
“No, you did not.” Grayson’s eyes narrow, jaw tight, the anger rolling off him in low, dangerous waves.
I flake my nostrils, trying to ignore him. But I take his anger, swallow it down like bitter medicine, if it means I can slip away for a few minutes, clear my head. Because looking at him knowing I’ll be marked tonight–and feeling these second thoughts creeping in–is definitely going to make me unravel right here, right now.
“You think you can just… go? Tonight is coming, and I don’t want you near danger or anything.”
I bite my lip, wanting to spit out the words that hover on my tongue–the truth that danger seems to orbit, that trouble finds me whether I’m careful or not–but I press my lips together hard enough to stop myself.
“I love you, okay? I’ll be back in an hour.”
Grayson doesn’t get a chance to argue; I’m on my feet, moving before he can say a word, sprinting through the woods with my heart hammering so hard it feels like it might tear out of my chest. My hair whips against my face, and I barely notice the chill of the morning air because my stomach is a twisted coil of nerves and heat.
It seems silly how I acted out–but the thought of tonight, of the marking, of finally being his in front of everyone… it’s
overwhelming.
The deeper I go, the more I feel the familiar pull of adrenaline and nerves, twisting in my gut, making my breaths short, shallow, sharp. The woods blur around me, but my mind can’t stop running through every worst–case scenario, every flash of doubt, every shred of fear. And yet… somewhere beneath it all, there’s a spark of excitement, dangerous and illicit, that
I can’t ignore.
I round the last bend of the trail, slowing only when I reach the small clearing where Jack is waiting, up on a tree. “Finally decided to show up, huh?” His tone is teasing, but my stomach tightens like a fist anyway.
“Shut up,” I snap, though the words come out breathless, ragged.
Instinct kicks in. I crouch slightly, feeling the tense power in my legs–the muscle memory of being more than human. With a sharp push off the balls of my feet, I leap, heart slamming against my ribs, and land a few feet from the tree with a soft thud, claws of adrenaline digging deep.
Jack laughs, low and amused, leaning over the branch to watch me land. “Not bad,” he says, voice teasing, eyes glinting.” Grayson taught you that?”
“Whatever. What were you doing here?” I snap, brushing imaginary dust from my pants.
Jack smirks, hopping down from the branch with a graceful, almost predatory ease. “I could ask you the same thing,” he says, eyes glinting as he gestures toward a fallen log. “Sit.”
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Chapter 181
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I glance at the log, hesitating for a fraction of a second, but I squat down anyway, lowering myself onto the rough bark.
Once I do, the view hits me, and for a moment, it steals my focus. Sunlight filters through the trees in golden streaks, casting dancing shadows on the forest floor. The leaves rustle with a soft, whispering cadence, and somewhere nearby, a bird trills, a sound that feels almost impossibly peaceful compared to the coil of nerves and heat twisting in my stomach.
“You’re quiet,” he says. “Something on your mind?”
1 press my lips together, forcing my gaze back to the forest, though my stomach twists harder at the question. “Maybe,” I
mutter, voice brittle. Lies. Too many lies today.
Jack nudges me lightly with his shoulder. “Come on, Jess. You can tell me.”
Funny how the last person I want to tell my doubts to is Jack but I’m here sitting on top of a tree and confessing to him. “It’s… tonight,” I admit finally, voice low, shaky. “The marking. The ceremony. I… I don’t know if I can–if I’m ready.”
Jack tilts his head, studying me. “Doubts?” His smirk softens slightly, like he’s amused and curious in equal measure. “You? Doubting? I find that hard to believe.”
I glare at him, teeth pressing into my bottom lip. “I’m not supposed to feel this way,” I whisper, more to myself than him. “I’m supposed to be sure… confident. But I’m not. I feel like I’m going to mess it all up.”
“I’ve seen wolves mate and break Jess but I’ve never seen two people willing to die and burn packs because of love.”
“You… you mean Grayson and me?”
Jack leans back slightly, smirk still teasing but his tone serious now, eyes locked on mine. “Exactly that. Most wolves would crumble, let the pack tear them apart, let the bond snap under pressure. But you two? You’re a different kind of fire, Jess. Dangerous, stubborn, and… relentless.”
Heat flares up my neck, prickling at every pulse. “That’s the problem. We’re dangerous for people around us.”
Grayson… he’d die for me. Kill for me. Risk everything he is, everything he’s built, just to have me, to keep me close, to claim me in front of everyone. And I can’t stop imagining it–the lengths he’d go, the blood he’d spill, the fury he’d unleash. All of it, just for me.
Do I deserve that? Do I deserve him risking everything for me?
We’ve ruined so many lives. Left scars, burned bridges, shattered trust. And yet… here he is, ready to lay it all on the line for me. A part of me wants to scream that we don’t deserve a happy ending–but another part, a small, stubborn, dangerous part, aches for it. Craves it,
Tonight, Grayson will mark me, and whether I’m ready or not, I’ll be his. And as the first silver light of the moon goddess brushes the treetops, I swear to her–and to him–that I won’t break.
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