Chapter 36
Chapter 36
JESSICA
I feel so stupid.
Goddess, am I that easy to get?
Grayson is snoring beside me as I stare at the ceiling. What did I do? I look at myself under the cover and sigh because atleast, I didn’t had sex with him last night. However, I still ended up sleeping with him on my bed.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
He’s getting married.
I don’t even know if he’s lying to me or not. I don’t know if any of the words he said last night meant anything at all. Maybe I’m just the fool who keeps falling for it- for him- every goddamn time.
I feel the mattress shift behind me. Grayson is already pushing up behind me, his chest pressed to my spine, his legs bracketing mine.
I squeeze my eyes shut when his mouth finds my shoulder – a soft kiss, barely there. Another one, higher up, where the strap of my dress has fallen down my arm. A third, at the side of my neck. Lingering. “Good morning baby,” he said. “What are you thinking, hmm?”
I don’t answer. I can’t. If I open my mouth, the tears will come.
Grayson shifts behind me, sliding even closer, pressing kiss after kiss up the line of my throat to the back of my ear.
“Please,” he whispers, the word shaky, almost broken. “Share your thoughts with me.”
My chest tightens.
I want to believe him so badly it physically hurts. I turn my face slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of him over my shoulder.
His hair is a mess. His eyes are heavy, rimmed with exhaustion and something deeper, something rawer.
Without thinking, I lift a hand and brush my fingers against his jaw. Grayson stills–like he’s afraid to move, afraid to scare me off. I guide his face toward me, needing to see him, needing something.
“…” My voice cracks. I swallow hard, fighting past the lump rising in my throat.
“I remember what you said last night.”
He lets out a slow breath, like he’s been holding it all night. His hand finds my waist under the blanket, fingers splaying against my ribs like. he’s trying to hold me together with just his touch. “I meant every word,” he says roughly. “Every single one.”
I blink up at him, searching his face, desperate for a lie I can cling to or a truth I can believe in.
Grayson leans down. “I’m not lying to you, baby.” Another kiss, right under my jaw. “I swear it.”
Are you?
It’s hard to trust a love that is unsure. We spend so much time hurting each other so last time when he confessed his love to me, it felt…..like it’s not real.
“Jess,” he says hoarsely, pressing his forehead against mine, eyes squeezed shut like he’s praying for something. “I meant every fucking
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word.”
I nod, but it feels mechanical. My chest aches. “You’re still engaged,” I say, and the words taste like ash on my tongue.
He flinches. “I didn’t want that,” he rasps. “You know I didn’t want that. It’s my father. It’s
“I don’t care,” I say, shoving at his chest.
Grayson groans – a deep, broken sound – and finally slants his mouth over mine. “Aria wants to be r
my Luna.”
“So what?” I gasp, yanking my mouth free. Tears blur my vision, but I blink them back viciously. “I’m your mistress now?”
His face twists.
“Guess it’s too bad,” I snap, shoving him again, “because I don’t want to share my man, Grayson.”
Something shifts.
Everything stills.
Grayson stares down at me- stunned like he’s just been hit across the face.
–
“My man,” he repeats, his voice low, disbelieving. Dangerous. A dark, molten heat sparks behind his eyes.
Before I can shove him again, he’s already moving. He catches my wrist, fingers wrapping around it tight, and with one rough jerk he flips us
over into the bed.
I yelp, scrambling, but he’s instantly on top of me. All heavy muscle, caging me in. His knee presses between my thighs. His hand pins mine above my head. I’m trapped – breathing hard – my heart slamming against my ribs.
Grayson leans down until our noses almost touch. “Say it again,” he says, voice shaking. “Say it like you fucking mean it.”
I squirm beneath him, angry and humiliated and wanting him so badly it terrifies me. “This is stupid,” I mutter, turning my face away. “You’re getting married, you’re-”
His free hand catches my chin, forcing me to look at him. “No. His thumb brushes my bottom lip, rough but weirdly gentle. “No more running, Jess. No more lies between us.”
Tears slip out – silent, traitorous. Goddess, I hate him for making me feel this much. I hate myself for still wanting him even more.
Grayson presses another kiss to my mouth – softer this time, aching.
His body shudders against mine like he’s holding back something brutal and ugly and desperate.
“I’m yours,” he says, breathing the words into my mouth like a prayer.
“I’ve always been yours. Even when I was too fucking stupid to admit it.”
I clench my eyes shut, trying to block him out/But there’s no escaping him.
“Please, baby.” His lips trace down my jaw, my throat. “What can I do for you to believe me?” Another kiss–lower–dragging his mouth slowly down the curve of my shoulder. “Anything,” he whispers, breath hot against my skin. “Anything you want, Jess.”
I bury my fingers in his hair and he moves up instantly. He would let me do anything to him right now. He wants me to. “You’ll do anything?” I whisper, voice shaking.
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He nods once, so fast it almost hurts to watch. “Anything, baby. Anything”
I swallow, heart pounding so hard I can barely breathe. “Be good to me,” I say, barely more than a breath. “During practice. Don’t, don’t act like you don’t care.”
His face crumples, pure agony crashing across his features. “Oh, Jess,” he rasps, kissing my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks frantic desperate kisses like he’s trying to stitch me back together with his mouth. “I care. I fucking care so much it kills me
I fist his hair tighter, dragging him down to me, and he follows–helpless–smashing his mouth against mine like he can’t bear another
second of distance.
Our kiss is messy.
Open–mouthed, tear–slick, hungry.
His hand slips under my dress, trembling, not trying to take – just touching, worshipfully, like he can’t believe I’m real. “I’ll be good,” he promises, broken against my mouth. “I swear it, baby. I’ll be so fucking good for you.”
Grayson doesn’t stop kissing me. His lips trail down the curve of my neck, soft, reverent kisses that make my pulse race.
I gasp as his mouth lingers lower, just below my collarbone, and my hands find his head again, threading through his messy hair.
“Grayson…” I murmur, voice shaking. “What are you doing to me?”
His eyes meet mine then, a storm of need and something far more desperate, as if he’s trying to carve himself into me.
“I’ll do whatever you want,” he growls, voice raw, cracking with restraint. “I’ll be everything you need, Jess. Just… let me love you like this.”
He kisses lower, moving past my throat, down the center of my chest, while his hands slide to the edge of my dress, pushing it up slowly, worshipping my skin as if every inch of me is sacred. His lips follow the path of his hands, soft, slow kisses that make me shiver.
I gasp again, my chest rising and falling with each ragged breath, my body reacting in ways I can’t control. His kisses are a slow burn, igniting every nerve in my body. He doesn’t rush; it’s like he’s savoring every moment, memorizing the way I feel beneath him.
When his tips find the curve of my breast, I push my head back, unable to stop the desperate little sound that escapes me.
“Grayson…” I breathe, pushing at his head, though my fingers tighten in his hair, urging him closer. “Don’t stop.”
His eyes flare with intensity, a fire burning deep in his gaze as he looks up at me. He licks his lips like he’s savoring a taste that he knows will never be enough, then lowers his mouth to where I need him most. “You feel so fucking good, baby.” His voice cracks as he pulls my underwear down, teasing me, making me ache for more. “I want you to feel every inch of me.”
I claw at his shoulders, pushing him lower, forcing his head between my legs. “Don’t make me beg,” I say, my voice strained, barely above a
whisper.
Grayson smirks against my skin, brushing his lips over my inner thigh, teasing me with his breath. “You think you can make me beg for you, Jess?” he murmurs, voice dripping with lust and something darker. “You think I need to beg for anything from you?”
My body trembles as he lowers his mouth, sending waves of fire through me. His tongue flicks against me, and I bite my lip to keep from
moaning too loudly.
“God, you taste so fucking good.” He growls, licking, sucking, every movement deliberate, torturously slow. His hands grip my hips, pushing me into him, and I can feel how much he wants me–how much he needs me. But he’s not rushing. He’s making me suffer with every touch, every slow, agonizing second.
“Grayson… please…” I whimper, my hands threading through his hair, tugging him closer. “I can’t take this anymore. I need you.”
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He grins up at me, that filthy grin that makes my insides twist. “You’ll get what you need, baby. Don’t worry shout that! And tha me again, his mouth relentless, like he’s trying to own every inch of me.
I’m a mess. My body writhing, desperate for him to touch me more, deeper. My hands pull at his hair, dragging him up, my fingers pipPIGER jaw as I crush my lips to his. My body burns.
“Please, Grayson,” I moan, my voice full of desperation. “I need you. I want you. Right now.”
His expression hardens, the intensity of his desire matching mine. Without another word, he slams his mouth back onto mine, his hands pushing my thighs apart as he moves between them. “Good girl,” he mutters against my lips, his breath hot. “You’re fucking mine, Jess. Alf
mine.”
