Chapter 1
Chapter 1
11 208 2007
I was the child born after my mom was raped.
Since I could remember, Mom and her loving husband, Frederick Reyes, raised me by their side.
Mom often taught me that my existence wasn’t my fault. She said I was her own flesh and blood, and I was also her precious daughter.
As I grew older, I looked more and more like that devil, and Mom’s schizophrenia grew worse.
After Mom stabbed my cheek with scissors again, I took the money I had been saving for years and went to the prison.
In just one more week, it would be my 18th birthday, and on the same day, the devil who had raped my mom would be released from prison.
One week later, I would disappear with him from this world, so Mom could finally live in peace.
***
When I returned home from prison, just as I changed into slippers, I was pulled into a warm embrace.
I froze in place, not daring to move. I could hear Mom crying with a trembling voice, and tears fell onto my face. “Noelle, I’m sorry. I thought I could accept you, but I just can’t. Every time I see your face that looks more and more like his, I just…”
Her words dissolved into uncontrollable sobs.
My chest tightened, and I lowered my head as much as possible.
If Mom couldn’t see my face, maybe she wouldn’t be reminded of him again.
But what I didn’t expect was for Mom to reach out, cup my cheek, pick up some iodine with trembling hands, and carefully disinfect my wound.
While treating me, Mom’s face looked even more pained than mine.
Because when she looked at my face, which was a replica of that devil, she remembered those painful memories.
When she finished dressing my wound, Frederick handed me a black card. He glanced apologetically at the pink suit- case by the door. “Is there enough money on the card? This black card has no limits.”
I took a deep breath, my heart finally settling. Along with the letdown came a strange sense of relief.
With guilt and gratitude in my heart, I bowed deeply toward Mom and Frederick. “Frederick, Mom, thank you!”
12.02
Chapter 1
11:26 ambay
Eighteen years ago, on a snowy day, that devil dragged my innocent Mom into an alley and raped her, leaving her pregnant with me.
After I was born, Mom and Frederick could have sent me to the orphanage.
But Mom said I was innocent. Since she had given birth to me, she had to take responsibility for my life.
It had snowed heavily that day, so she named me Noelle.
Mom and Frederick raised me for 18 years. I was truly grateful, but also filled with guilt.
If it weren’t for me, Mom could have gone through modified electroconvulsive therapy and forgotten the memories that tormented her for 18 years.
My existence, along with that devil’s, constantly reminded Mom of her humiliation.
One week later, I would go to hell with that devil.
The thought had barely formed when a sharp sting flared across my cheek.
I belatedly covered the numb side of my face as my half–brother, Timothy Reyes, shouted furiously. “You ungrateful brat! Mom and Dad treat you so well, and yet you use the money they gave you to visit that devil in prison?”
Mom broke down with a scream and grabbed the scissors again, stabbing them toward me. “Ungrateful brat, you!”
I trembled all over and instinctively dodged, trying to explain.
That devil was supposed to be released early tomorrow for good behavior.
He said he was broke. As long as I transferred money to him on time, he wouldn’t show up and trigger Mom.
I just wanted to protect her in my own way.
But did I do something wrong again?
Mom said I was her daughter and that she loved me, but she couldn’t stand looking at this face that reminded her of him.
This morning, during another episode, she almost disfigured me.
If I became disfigured, would she love me like she did when I was little?
“Mom, hit me. As long as it cases your pain, even if you beat me to death, I’d accept it.”
When the scissors came close to stabbing into my face, fear made me flinch back.
The wound on my cheek from this morning was still painful. If I were completely disfigured, I’d become ugly. Would
Mom be even more scared of me then?
But with this face, Mom would never stop suffering.
^^
01
11:58
Chapter 1
Clenching my teeth, I shut my eyes, trembling, ready to let her stab this face that looked too much like his.
Terror swelled until it consumed me. My body wanted to dodge, but I forced myself to endure.
At some point, the pain I expected didn’t arrive. Instead, my body slid several meters across the floor.
782 Vouchers
Frederick and Timothy held Mom back. Frederick gently urged me, “Noelle, your mom can’t take this right now. Go outside for a while. Do whatever you want with the money on that card.”
Clutching the black card tightly, I backed away reluctantly.
Mom hugged herself and curled up on the floor in pain. Her eyes, filled with a complex hatred, met mine. “Why was I so soft–hearted the day you were born? Why didn’t I strangle you to death? Why did I let you torture me for 18 years?”
My tears blurred my vision as I backed toward the door. “Mom, I’m sorry.”
But I promised myself, one week later, that devil would disappear from this world forever.
