Chapter 21
Chapter 21
DAMIEN
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I didn’t mean for it to happen. I told myself that a hundred times on the drive back.
The roads were empty, but my thoughts weren’t. Every red light gave me a moment too long to remember the sound of her voice, the way her fingers had trembled when she kissed me. I hadn’t planned to sleep with Cia. Not tonight. Not ever, if I had any sense.
But it happened.
And it was… God, it was unlike anything I’d ever felt.
I gripped the steering wheel harder, my knuckles pale. I should’ve felt shame. I should’ve felt regret. And maybe I did somewhere deep beneath everything else. But layered over that was the memory of how she looked at me. Like I wasn’t a man caught in between. Like I was hers.
That moment didn’t feel new. It felt… familiar. Like I’d been there before, in her arms, inside her. The sensation lingered like déjà vu, pulling at the corners of my mind. And it made no sense. Because before her, there had only been Diana.
Only Diana.
I exhaled slowly as I pulled into the driveway. The house looked the same, but I didn’t. Something had shifted inside me. Something I couldn’t undo.
I loved Cia.
I knew it now.
And the worst part? I didn’t know when it happened. Or how. There was no exact moment to pin it on. No clear turning point. Just a slow, steady fall that I didn’t fight hard enough.
Now I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do about Diana.
The second I stepped inside the house, I saw her. Curled up on the couch like she’d been waiting. She sprang to her feet the moment she heard the door close behind me.
“Damien!” she gasped, and threw herself into my arms.
I didn’t lift mine to hold her back. I stood there, stiff, my jacket still in my hand. Her perfume hit me first, too sweet, too heavy. And then… her body tensed.
She moved her nose toward my neck and inhaled. A second time. Then again, deeper. Like she was trying to place something.
I pulled away gently, but her grip tightened.
“Why’d you leave me behind?” she asked. Her voice cracked just a little. “Why would you take Jeff and go
9:54 Mon, Sep 22
Chapter 21
without saying anything?”
“Go home, Diana,” I replied.
I just wanted to sleep.
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Not out of exhaustion, but out of the desperate need to silence everything inside me. My thoughts were loud, messy. They wouldn’t stop replaying Cia’s voice, her body, the way she looked at me like I was something more than what I’d become.
But Diana stood in front of me, her eyes wide and full of questions I didn’t want to answer.
“I just got back,” she said, her voice tight. “What’s going on, Damien? It’s late. You expect me to just leave… without Jeff?”
I kept my tone steady. “He’s staying here with me.”
Her brows furrowed. “Why?”
“Because I’m his father,” I replied, flatly. “And I think it’s time he lived with me. It’s not a bad thing, Diana.”
“But what about me?” Her voice broke slightly. “You want me to live alone in that house? Without him? I’ve gotten used to him being there, Damien. I don’t even know what that place feels like without his laughter.”
I looked away. Her words shouldn’t have touched me, but they did, just a little. Not because of her pain, but because I wasn’t as cold as I needed to be.
“I’m not taking him away from you,” I said quietly. “You can see him whenever you want. I won’t stop you.”
I turned, ready to leave. I wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible. But she stepped in front of me again, blocking my path.
“Can’t we just stay together?” she asked. Her voice was small now, almost pleading. “We used to talk about this, Damien. About being a family. I’m your fiancée. We could still make this work… All of us, together.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly.
I didn’t want to hurt her, but I couldn’t lie either.
All I wanted right now was to check on Jeff, read him the story he’d asked for, take a hot shower, and
disappear under the covers until the morning forced me to wake up again. I didn’t have the strength to carry her heartbreak on top of my own confusion.
“Diana,” I said, more sharply than I intended. “Please. I’m tired. Go home.”
She flinched.
Then came the silence.
And in that silence, her voice trembled.
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Chapter 21
“Is there someone else?”
Her eyes glistened before the first tear even fell.
Her question hit like a sucker punch.
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I didn’t answer. Not because I didn’t have one, but because saying yes out loud would feel like betrayal.
And yet… hadn’t I already betrayed her?
Diana’s face crumpled. Then she was in my arms again, holding me like she could anchor herself with my body.
“I love you so much, Damien,” she whispered through her sobs. “I can’t live without you. Please don’t leave me. Don’t break your promise. You said one day, when you’re ready to settle down… I’d be the one. Remember? You said that.”
Her voice was shaking. So was I.
She looked up at me with swollen eyes. “I’ve waited for years, Damien. I didn’t open my heart to anyone else. You were always it for me. If I’ve done something wrong, just tell me. I’ll fix it. I’ll change. Just don’t throw us away.”
I shut my eyes.
It wasn’t just guilt that bloomed in my chest–it was shame. The kind that dug its claws in and wouldn’t let go. I had made that promise, hadn’t I? Back when things were simpler. When I thought I could tame life with timelines and good intentions. When I believed love was something I could schedule, plan, deliver.
And yet here I was, with Cia’s taste still on my lips, her scent clinging to my skin.
How could I explain that everything shifted? That somewhere along the way, I’d stopped seeing Diana as the woman I wanted to build a life with… and started feeling like I was only holding on out of duty?
Looking down at her now, her tears soaking into my shirt, her hands fisting my back like she was afraid I’d vanish–I didn’t feel anger.
Just… heaviness.
And pity.
And that made it worse.
I placed a hand on her shoulder and gently peeled her off me. She resisted for a second, then let sniffling, wiping her eyes with the back of her palm.
go,
still
“You can stay,” I said quietly. “Use the guest room if you want. But I need to check on Jeff. He’s waiting for me. We’ll talk tomorrow,”
Before she could protest, I turned and walked away,
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Chapter 21
Every step felt like dragging chains.
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When I pushed open Jeff’s bedroom door, I expected to find him on his bed with his picture books sprawled across his chest.
Instead, I found him on the floor.
At first, I thought he’d just fallen asleep mid–play. But something was off.
“Jefl?”
No answer.
My heart stuttered.
1 crouched beside him, brushing the hair away from his forehead. His skin felt… damp. Cold.
“Jeff?” I said louder, shaking him gently.
Nothing.
Panic ripped through me like a current. I scooped him into my arms, his body limp against mine.
“Jeff! Jeff, wake up!”
No response.
The world tilted.
I didn’t think as I ran. I didn’t grab my keys. I didn’t even glance at Diana who had stepped out into the living room with confusion written all over her face.
I just ran.
Ran through the house. Barefoot. Shirt stained. Mind spinning.
Ran with my son in my arms, praying to everything I never believed in that I wasn’t already too late.
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9:54 Mon, Sep 22
Chapter 22
Chapter 22
DAMIEN