Chapter 111
And here I am, pretending I’m okay, because Julie needs me to be. Because I need me to be.
But I’m not okay.
I don’t even remember what okay feels like anymore.
Still, I force myself to dry off and get dressed while Julie keeps talking, her voice bright and bubbly like always. She doesn’t
notice how quiet I’ve gone
–
or maybe she does and she’s just pretending for my sake. Either way, I’m grateful.
She tilts her head and changes the topic. “So… how’s Liam doing? Still with that pretty girlfriend of his? What’s her name again? Emily?”
“Emilia,” I correct, tugging on a shirt. “Yeah. They’re still together. They’re… disgusting actually.”
Julie grins, showing off her signature dimples. The same ones Liam throws at me when I don’t put in the extra effort to hide my fucked headspace. “You’re just allergic to love right now, but that’s okay. I’ll love you enough for both of us.”
I fake a laugh. It feels like glass in my throat, but I do it anyway.
She’s so beautiful. So full of life. She looks so much like Liam it messes with my head sometimes. Same smile, same laugh, same brightness I used to have too – before everything
cracked,
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“You doing okay?” she asks softly, her smile faltering just a bit. “I miss you. Can’t you get off early and come visit? You don’t even care about the couple.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” I say, trying to keep my voice light. “But Céline does-”
Julie immediately gags. “That fake bitch.”
“Julie!” I can’t help the frown tugging at my lips.
“Okay, okay! Sorry. I take it back,” she says, grinning like she means the exact opposite.
I scowl playfully and throw on some shorts. “Anyway, I overheard Céline and Margot’s conversation, so I’m pretty sure our next stop’s pretty close to yours. So I might drop by.”
Julie squeals. “Yes! Make sure Liam comes too- oh! Bring Emilia! God, I just know she’s even prettier in real life than on the phone.”
I snort. “She’s not gonna date you, Jules.”
“You never know,” she says with a wink. “If Li closes his eyes for even one second, I’ll have Emilia walking down the aisle with me.”
LACEY
The call ends, and I force myself into a sports bra and joggers from one of the brands I endorse. I throw on a cap, hoping it
screams stay away,
Spoiler: it doesn’t.
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By the time I grab a can beer and head toward the gym, I’ve already heard too many “Hi Lacey!” and way too many “Where’s Céline?”
I pretend not to hear any of it.
Then- bam. I round the corner too fast and crash right into
someone.
“What the fu- oh. Hi, Lacey.”
Tonia.
—
She’s holding her nose – right where it slammed into my shoulder – and giving me a strained smile.
She’s wearing less jewellery than usual. Just the nose piercing. And even though she dyed her hair last week, her roots are already peeking through. That’s not like her.
I’m clear–headed enough to pull myself out of my self misery and take a look at her. I’ve never seen her roots show before, if that isn’t a call of help I don’t know what is. “Hey, Tonia. Are you okay?”
She doesn’t look okay. Her cheeks are flushed, eyes puffy. Her lips tremble a little. When she drops her hand from her nose, she sniffs hard.
“I was actually looking for you,” she says softly. “Can we talk?”
It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes and down the beer in my hand.
I know I’m not in a good place. I know the way I ache to crack this can open and drink until everything feels distant isn’t
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healthy.
But I also don’t care.
I force a small smile, already half–turned toward anywhere else. “I’m a bit-”
“Please,” Tonia cuts in.
Her eyes are glassy. Not angry, not cold. Just… sad. And damn it, something inside me tugs. “I won’t take too long.”
We end up leaning against a quiet railing somewhere on the upper deck. I give up and pop the can open, drinking without looking at her. Tonia’s trying not to cry. She’s not great at hiding
- it.
“Can you talk to Céline?”
Great. I see where this is going already.
I take another swig, waiting.
“I know I’m not perfect,” she starts, voice tight. “But I love Deji. So when he brought up adding someone new to the
relationship, I said okay. I wanted to be okay with it.”
She lets out a bitter laugh.
“But if it had to be Céline… it made sense. She already has the kind of reputation people whisper about. So if people talked, who cares? Right?”
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Chapter 112
