Parker He needed a moment to pull himself together , and he knew it .
Letting go of her once more was going to kill him all over again .
He didnt even know if he could truly do it this time .
Didnt bloody want to and he knew it .
He got all of a dozen steps out of that room and came to a halt .
He had to put a hand on the wall to keep himself upright as pain was starting to tear at his chest as he thought about letting her go .
She wasnt even his , and it hurt to blazes just thinking about letting her go .
Alpha ? Annettes voice cut through his pain questioningly , as she stood before him concern , not only in her words but in her expression as well .
Ill be fine , just … how did he explain something he couldnt even understand himself ? Belladonnas gotten a wolf , is healing her , he told her .
You should go and check on her .
I will , but Alpha , what is wrong with you ? she reached out to touch him .
You look as though youre in pain .
She was frowning at him and there was real concern in her now , as he struggled with how he was feeling .
Its nothing .
Dont concern yourself with me .
Just focus on Belladonna please .
He murmured and pushed himself up off the wall , tried to rein in his pain .
Excuse me Annette , I have pack related things that need my attention .
He told her and walked away from her though he could feel her eyes were on him .
He , however , was the Alpha of the pack , and she couldnt hound him or dismiss his words , about focusing on Belladonna either .
He headed for the packhouse , and his office .
He needed something to occupy his mind to take his and Vexs minds off of what felt ; like their heart breaking all over again .
He walked into his office , to find all of his unit in there and Shannon shot to his feet at the sight of him .
Whats wrong Parker ? he asked instantly .
Nothing is wrong , he stated , and walked over to his desk and shooed Kane from it .
Bullshit , if you think I cant feel that , what youre feeling right this very minute , youd be dead wrong Parker … Youre in pain , a lot of it .
Shannon told him , as he walked across the room to where Parker now sat You might be pulling on your bloodline , but that isnt going to stop my instincts as a Gamma , nothing gets past me .
His Gamma was staring down at him now , unhappy it seemed that Parker was trying to avoid the topic .
110 Leave it alone Shannon .
Its for me to deal with , he stated .
Coming into this office , he knew work could save him , distract him and so that was what he was going to do .
There was always a lot of work to do inside his pack , and he could turn to it , in order to feel nothing or try to bury himself to the point of feeling nothing at all .
That was actually something he was very good at doing .
How was he to explain how he felt to anyone , even Shannon , when he couldnt event understand it himself , he didnt even know where to begin , wouldnt even know how to start that conversation .
Shut the door , Shannon stated and put a hand on Parker , and he felt him roll that Gamma Charm over him .
Parker sighed and looked up at his friend and Gamma .
Yes , you do , Shannon stated .
Youre not only in pain , but very confused as well , and you werent like this last night when I saw you .
he sighed himself and then that southern accent rolled right out of him .
Tell me Parker , what happened .
His head tilted slightly to the right Or think about it , something has changed between last night and now , your visit just now with Bella … focus on that .
Parker could feel his thoughts were being redirected by his own Gamma , because he was using that Charm on him , trying to get to the bottom of how Parker himself felt , why he suddenly felt that way even .
Parker could see it in his mind , as clear as day , Belladonna on the floor as hed walked into the room , her eyes a mixture of her blue and the brilliant blue of her wolf , then theyd been all brilliant blue as Venus had taken control of her .
He felt Shannon push harder , and he realised that at that moment hed felt different , but hadnt really realised what it was until just now , with Shannon making him focus solely on the moment .
She smelled soft and delicate to him , the barest scent of how shed always smelled to him during their mate bond .
As her beast had looked at her children and interacted with them , Vex had picked up the slightest scent of lemon zest , ginger and cracked pepper .
Shed had her mate scent for him about her , so slight that he himself had missed it , because she always smelled of lemon zest and ginger , always smelled lovely to him but now as he was focused on it with Shannons help and no distractions or thoughts about Venus not wanting to look at him .
It was right there in front of him , she smelled like she was his mate , like she had for the eight years theyd been bound to each other .
His eyes moved right to Shannons as even his eyes went wide as he to understood what Parker was just coming to understand.
110 + Pint She shouldnt smell like that to him .
The cracked pepper was for him only ha come from marking and mating her .
Sweet Goddess , shes actually your Goddess Gifted Mate .
Shannon murmured and stepped back from him to stare down at him , his Charm cut off by the shock of the realisation .
Not even Parker knew what to say to that bit of revelation , just sat and stared at Shannon even as he felt both Kane and Axel come and stand right there at his desk to stare down at him as well .
Shannon seemed to snap out of it before Parker himself could and latched onto him .
Why is their pain then ? he rushed out .
Your pain what is that from ? He felt it well up inside him once more .
She doesnt want to be a family with me , he said , the words he never wanted to voice out loud , to those he trusted the most .
Its hurts , shes distancing herself from me and I guess now that I know what she is .
he murmured our bond is severing once more , all over again on my end .
Parker stop thinking that , it cant sever on your end without a full rejection unless you are doing that , have accepted it .
Refuse to accept it and the pain will stop .
You didnt issue a rejection because there is no claiming of the bond at this point .
Youre hurting yourself with your own thoughts , Shannon stated .
Parker frowned at him and wondered if that was actually true .
He really thought about it .
Hed not picked up that scent of her being his mate until just now , but he had heard her words this .
morning and was actively trying to let her go .
Even after scenting her out , hed been stupidly .
trying to let her go because hed not picked up what she was , and was already dwelling on what he was losing .
It was so soft a scent right that minute that hed missed it even .
It was barely there , but if hed scented her out shouldnt he have been able to feel the sparks of their mate bond , hed had his .
hands on her , helped her up from the floor , and hed not felt the sparks of a mate bond .
That was confusing to him now .
I dont understand Shannon , I can smell her … youre right about that , but I also had my hands on her to help her up off the floor .
There were no sparks of a mate bond .
Shouldnt there be ? he asked now .
Shannon nodded slowly .
I dare say yes , but … But , Parker prompted .
Her beast is not fully realised , Kane sighed , so not a true connection , you might have to wait on the full moon for it to officially kick in .
Sometimes one can scent their mate early , but the 119 other doesnt scent them back .
But still , if shes mine , the sparks should be there .
He frowned .
Maybe its different with her .
The girl is not normal Parker .
Axel stated Some weird stuff happens all around her all the time .
Maybe its just going to be you can smell her , but until she scents you back there will be no active bond on either end .
