CHAPTER 7
ANNA’S POV
I was still in a daze even long after Ryan stormed out of the kitchen. My mind just wouldn’t shut up. Everything inside me was spinning, burning, spiraling into this mess of guilt, confusion, and desire. I mean, did that just happen? Did I seriously almost have sex with Ryan? My big brother??
Shit.
It was too damn close. Way too close. And if he hadn’t stopped, if Ryan hadn’t had that last thread of control to pull back, then we would’ve really done it. Right there. In the kitchen, Against the wall. And the most messed up part? I wanted it. God, I wanted it so bad. Just thinking about how he pinned me, how his lips crashed into mine, how his hard cock rubbed against my bare pussy through that thin loce nightdress… it was making me wet all over again.
I should be ashamed, right? But I wasn’t. All I could think about was how good it felt. How right it felt. Like it was something my body had been waiting for all along, and now that I’d tasted it, I couldn’t untoste it. Couldn’t unfeel it. Couldn’t pretend it hadn’t happened.
And that was the first time any guy had touched me like that. Touched me in a way that made me forget my name. Touched me in a way that made me ache.
But he stopped it. He pulled away and left without a word. He didn’t even look back.
I waited for hours, hoping he’d come out, say something, explain anything. But he didn’t. His room was still shut like nothing had happened. Like he could just walk away from it while I sat here going crazy. And the water I’d originally gone to get? I didn’t even remember that anymore. Who cared about water when your entire body was on fire?
I groaned out loud and stood up, pacing around my room before I finally walked toward his door. I raised my hand to knock, but stopped. What was I even going to say? That I wanted more? That I hadn’t slept either? That I kept thinking about the way he touched me?
No. I couldn’t say any of that. So I turned around and went back to my room, collapsing on my bed with a frustrated sigh, knowing damn well sleep wasn’t coming. Not after that.
It was exactly 4:23 a.m. when I heard the front door creak open. My eyes snapped open instantly, and before I could even think, I jumped out of bed. I knew what that sound was. It was the same sound I’d heard almost every morning. Ryan leaving.
That was why I barely saw him. He always left before the sun came up, probably to avoid me, but today… today I wasn’t going to let him leave.
I tied the block silk robe that matched the nightdress I wore last night and rushed out of my room. The hallway was dimly lit, but I didn’t care. And when I opened the door, he was right there. Standing in front of it like he’d been waiting for me to open it.
his
His eyes were on me already, and damn, he looked… perfect. Like he hadn’t slept either. His jaw was tense, eyes were darker than usual, and those deep bags under them made him look even sexier. He was in a block tuxedo , and it fit him so well it should’ve been illegal. Every button, every stitch, every piece of that suit was making him look like the kind of man who didn’t play by the rules.
He opened his mouth first.
+25 BONUS
“Hey,” he said.
That was the first time he actually spoke to me first, and it caught me completely off guard.
“Hi,” I said, voice low, trying to ignore the way my thighs squeezed together as the memory of last night flooded my brain again. His hands. His breath. That deep groan in my ear as he grinded against me.
He looked me over again, and I could see the way his throat moved when he swallowed hard. He looked like he was fighting himself.
“About last night…” he said, pausing like the words were hard to get out. “I’m really sorry. I’m really fucking sorry I touched you like that. I shouldn’t have. I was drunk, I lost control, and it was wrong.”
“Ryan-” I called out, but he cut me off.
-That’s why I called someone. They’re looking for an apartment for you, something close to school. You deserve to be safe.”
My heart cracked right there. “But I like it here.”
Anna,
he growled, and I swear I felt that sound between my legs. “I made a mistake. I was drunk, and it can’t happen again. I won’t let it. Staying here isn’t safe, not for you.‘
“Why?” I asked.
I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why he was trying so hard to fight what was obviously there. The chemistry between us. The tension between us.
Four days ago, I thought he hated me. I thought that’s why he avoided me. But now I knew better. He was trying to protect himself from me, from what we both felt. What happened last night wasn’t just some drunken mistake. It was real. And he knew it too.
“Why?” I asked again, my voice shaking.
He ran a hand through his hair like he always did when he was stressed, and I swear, that small habit hit me harder than it should have. He looked broken. He looked like he was begging me not to make this harder.
His e
is eyes dropped to my chest, and his fists clenched. He was staring at my robe like it offended him. Like he was seconds away from losing every ounce of control.
“Because I can’t promise you it won’t happen again,” he said in a low, almost pained voice.
“Then don’t,” I whispered, my voice soft, as if I was begging without even realizing it.
He looked away, his jaw clenched. “You don’t understand, Anna. You don’t know what this could turn into. If you did, you’d leave. I’ve already made arrangements. By the time you come back from school today, your new apartment key will be on the dining table. It’s close to campus. Safer.”
“No!” I cried, “Mama brought me here. I’m not going anywhere!”
He looked at me like I’d just ripped open a wound, and the next second, I was pinned to the wall. His body was pressed against mine, and his face was right in front of mine, his breath hot on my cheek, his eyes wild and dark and barely holding on.
“Don’t make things harder for us, Anna,” he warned, voice thick and strained. “Don’t!”
Then his head dropped to my neck, and I felt the shiver go down my spine as he whispered, “No matter how much I want you. No matter how much you are to be mine… I can’t have you, Anna.”
2/3
He pulled back, looked me dead in the eyes, and growled.
“Don’t make this harder for me. I won’t be able to hold out much longer.”
And then he left.
Leaving me there, against that wall, confused and breathless and so fucking turned on I could scream.
And wondering what he meant by “no matter how much you are to be mine…”
