Chapter 7
September–freshman orientation week.[]
Stanford’s orientation was notoriously intense. Two weeks at an outdoor camp.[]
Day before we left, Mom showed up at school with bags of supplies.[]
“Raven, sweetie, you’ll need all this for camp.”
Sunscreen, bug spray, first aid, snacks–everything you could think of.[]
“Thanks.” I took the bags.[]
She looked worried.[]
“It’s gonna be hot out there. If your body can’t handle it, just skip some activities, okay?”
I’d been taking care of myself through sickness since I was little. What “can’t handle it“?[]
“Savannah…” Mom started, then stopped.[]
“What about her?”
“Her school’s doing orientation too, but the doctor said her heart can’t take it, so we got her an exemption.”
1 nodded: “Okay.”
“Raven, maybe you should get an exemption too?“[]
“I’m good.” I shut that down. “I’m perfectly healthy.“[]
Mom wanted to say more, but just sighed: “Be careful out there.“[]
Next morning, bus picked us up for camp.
On the way, I got a text from Savannah:
[Heard you’re doing orientation! It’s gonna be SO hot–watch out for heat stroke! ?]]
With a photo of her at home in AC eating watermelon.[]
I didn’t reply.[]
Two hours later we rolled up to the camp, and damn, this place was ROUGH.[]
But compared to foster hell, this was luxury.[]
First day of training–standing at attention.[]
Blazing sun overhead, temperature pushing 100 degrees.[]
After thirty minutes, girls started dropping like flies.[]
Counselor let them rest, then asked. “Anyone else need to tap out?“]
Dead silence[]
“Good. Keep going.
Sweat pouring like rain, my dothes soaked through []
Girl next to me whispered: “I’m so jealous of people who got exemptions.“{]
1 didn’t respond.
Truth was, I knew Mom tried to get me an exemption too. Just didn’t work []
Because I wasn’t Savannah
Chapter 7
That night charging my phone, I saw the family group chat.[]
Mom: [Savannah practiced piano at home today. Getting so much better!][]
Dad: [My precious girl is so talented.][]
Mason: [Savannah, got you some new sheet music.]]
Savannah: [Thanks Mom, Dad, Mason! Love you guys SO much!
See? My family, but nobody asked how orientation was going.]]
Day 5 of orientation, Labor Day weekend.[]
Camp gave everyone a cookie as a “holiday treat.“]]
That evening, counselors had us sit on the field looking at stars.[]
“Today’s a holiday. Anyone who wants can call home.” The counselor announced.[]
Everyone grabbed their phones.[]
“Hey Mom, I’m at camp, doing great.“[]
“Dad, got the cookie, thanks.“]
“Bro, what are you guys eating? Save me some good stuff.“[]
I sat in the corner staring at the full moon.[]
Suddenly, my phone buzzed.]
Opened it–family group chat message with a photo.
Dining table covered in food.[]
Dad, Mom, Mason, Savannah raising glasses, huge smiles.[]
Mon posted it with:[]
[Happy Labor Day! Family togetherness!
Family togetherness.
Fucking ironic.
I turned off my phone, bit into my cookie.[]
Fruitcake–my least favorite flavor.[]
Roommate saw me sitting alone, came over: “Raven, how come you’re not calling anyone?”
“Nobody to call.”
“But aren’t you like, the Whitmore heiress?“]]
e.“0
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “But their family togetherness‘ doesn’t include me.”
She looked confused, then handed me half her cookie: “Mine’s chocolate chip. Wanna trade?“[]
I took it: “Thanks
That night I couldn’t sleep []
Not because I missed home–because I suddenly realized I didn’t HAVE a home.[]
Foster family wasn’t home. The Whitmores weren’t either.[]
I was like that moon up there []
Looked bright from a distance, but actually cold as hell []
Chapter
Next day during drills, I passed out []
I woke up in the medical tent with a counselor standing by my cot asking “What happened? Didn’t eat yesterday? []
“I ate.“[]
“Then how’d you get low blood sugar?“[]
I didn’t answer.[]
He sighed. “Tamily problems?“]
No family.” I said.]
He looked startled, then patted my shoulder: “Rest today. Back to training tomorrow.
Lying there, I got texts from my roommates. “How are you? Heard you collapsed.”
“I’m fine. Just need some rest”
“Should we call your family?“]
No.–1]
“Want me to do it?“]
“Don’t
Even if they knew, they wouldn’t come anyway.[]
Savannah had some doctor’s appointment today and the whole family had to go hold her hand]
Who gave a slit if I lived or died?]
