Chapter 8
Thinking someone likes you is one of the biggest delusions ever.
When Kieran and I first met, he was already past the age of bullying people he liked.
In high school, I had a feeling.
But his mood swings made it really hard to believe there was any affection in it.
I shook my head.
‘Well, I’m pretty greedy.”
‘I want tons and tons of money AND tons and tons of love.”
You treated me like shit. I thought the money you gave me was compensation for emotional damage.”
He closed his eyes.
I just couldn’t say it.”
I always felt like I should hate you, should make you leave. I didn’t dare say I liked you, didn’t dare let you hang around me anymore.”
t was getting late.
was kinda sleepy and yawned.
ince he was there, I never pressed the elevator button.
Okay.”
You should go. I need to head upstairs.”
Kieran’s eyes were red: “I flew for hours to see you.”
You won’t even… let me sit for a bit?”
Remembering that essay Sage sent me before, I pulled out my phone and dramatically read it aloud:
I have a boyfriend now. We’re stepsiblings with no blood relation–we should keep our distance…”
‘ight fire with fire.
inally got the lost and broken Kieran to leave.
elix eventually found out about me and Kieran.
After dating for a year, I specifically picked a day when Kieran wasn’t home to bring Felix to meet Mom.
>idn’t expect Kieran to see the housekeeper’s grocery shopping post and drive two hours from campus to get home.
During dinner, I sat next to Felix and instinctively acted cute with him.
‘Babe, I want some juice.”
He naturally took my glass and poured some.
Kieran stood up too. Then sat back down empty–handed.
Felix looked at him and smiled apologetically.
What could’ve been brushed off with a joke, but Kieran’s face went cold.
He slammed down his fork.
“Is every pet name just part of your little games?”
Felix froze for a second.
With the adults there, he looked down and said gently:
‘Sorry, I crossed a line.”
That dinner went to shit.
Itore into Kieran.
‘What the fuck is wrong with you now? How’s it any of your business?”
What if I called my boyfriend “babe“?
First time I’d ever yelled at someone like that–Dad and Mom were shocked.
Kieran was stunned.
He couldn’t save face, didn’t say a word back, just kept eating with his head down.
But his soup kept getting fuller.
Oh. He was crying.
Dad freaked out too.
Kieran wiped his eyes, got up, and left.
Felix only knew I had a stepbrother–a stepbrother with a bad temper, rich and crazy, who did whatever the hell he wanted at home and didn’t give
inyone respect.
That was it.
After dinner, walking in the garden, I came clean with Felix.
Well, not really coming clean.
hadn’t done anything wrong, but what I was about to say might upset him, might have to sweet–talk him afterward.
looked up, sneakily checking his expression.
His brow was slightly furrowed.
asked quietly: “Are you mad?”
He said: “Yeah.”
Knew it.
I let go of his hand and fidgeted with my sleeves, trying to think of what to say.
He took my hand again, intertwining our fingers and turned to look at me helplessly.
“Not at you.”
Mad at Kieran.
He got it completely.
We were on the same page.
Screw Kieran.
Life went on as usual.
When break ended, I went back to school, sat in lecture halls, wrote papers in the parliamentary library, met Felix for meals.
He really was emotionally stable and great at taking care of people, like husband material.
Later I prepped for grad school.
Everything went smoothly.
Kieran took up less and less space in my life.
Once I saw the housekeeper cleaning out his study.
She found a stack of papers–all boarding passes to London.
Don’t know who he was trying to impress.
Just his luck.
I’d moved, and with so many people at school, he went all those times and never ran into me.
Before Christmas, I got my new school’s offer.
The new school was even better than my undergrad.
I had the right person by my side and a bright future ahead.
Time to spread my wings and soar with the spring breeze.
